I hope you’re okay.
As a new (first time) mum, you literally have so many people shoving ideas and ‘ways to deal with….’ down your throat. It gets to the point where you feel as if you need a notepad and pen whenever you’re communicating with any one other than a baby.
The greatest challenge; Your baby isn’t sleeping, or they aren’t in a ‘real’ feeding routine. At the end of the day, what needs to be remembered is that even though your little mite is only a few weeks/months old, they’re individuals too, and yes, that means that no two baby’s are the same. That means, that your friends baby, (who seems to be almost perfect and only waking once in the night when yours is waking every 3 hours) is a different little person. You bring it up in conversation, and your friend says that they put their baby to bed at 8pm, not swaddled and in a quiet environment. Whereas, your baby is wide awake at 8pm, and only starts yawning at 9pm and in bed by 10, swaddled and with white noise and a dummy. You automatically think that you’re doing something wrong. Stop, right now. Even though all they do is eat, sleep, poop and stare into the abyss; baby’s are incredible and they’ll let you know in their own little way when they’re tired. If your baby is going to bed at 10pm, and other mums don’t think that’s acceptable because it’s ‘too late’, tell them where to go. Your baby is comfortable going to bed at that time, so be it.
Harlow has been going to bed about 10pm since she was born, and it just so happens that we’ve fallen into the routine of turning the TV off about 9, changing her nappy, and then taking her upstairs into a dark room with white noise on to give her the last bottle of the night. She’ll wake up between 3 and 6 for another feed, but she gets a good 6 hours in on a good night.
The thing is, I was told that 10pm was way too late for a baby to be going to bed. So, one night, I tried to do her bedtime routine a little bit earlier (8pm) and low and behold, I was up every 2 hours with her throughout the night.
Not only that, but baby’s only know how to communicate by crying. It isn’t your fault that they cry, so it’s just a case of trying to find out what’s wrong. Yes, it’s the hardest part. If you’ve gone through everything, and they’re still crying, then it’s just a case of trying to comfort them. Harlow loves to be put on my shoulder and soothed when nothing else works.
You will know what to do when the time comes.