Okay, so this has been the most asked question since I had Harlow. I didn’t know how to answer to begin with because I was slowly getting into routine with her and I wasn’t really sure how I felt except complete and utter love towards her. Now it’s been nearly 3 weeks and I can give more of an answer rather than ‘Yeah, it’s okay thanks!’
So, when I explain to people that Harlow is only waking up at 3/4am and then again at 6/7am, and napping again until about 10ish, they think that it’s incredible. Yes, it is and I’m really happy she sleeps well. I did panic to begin with thinking that she should be up every hour, and I really did expect it, but every baby is different, and I seriously believe that because I napped so much during my pregnancy, that’s why she’s so good at sleeping now. When I read that back, I think I sound a bit crazy. Why would my sleeping pattern in pregnancy effect how baby sleeps now? Well, I mentioned it to my health visitor and she said that actually, yes.. it makes a difference! So thank you pregnant Emily for loving your sleep so much!
Even when Harlow cries, whether it’s for her bottle, to be changed or just for cuddles, I don’t get frustrated. I don’t understand how anyone could with their babies. If anything, I just want to make everything even more better for her.
I will admit, there was a time when I had a bit of stress during the first week (nothing to do with Harlow) and I had a little emotional hour and panicked. I then started to think that I was a bad mum for not being able to provide amazing things for Harlow. Then I realised that actually, all she needs is food, nappies, wipes, love and cuddles. Oh, and clothes. I have everything she needs (and loads more!). That’s honestly the only time so far that I’ve been like, “I’m going to be rubbish at this.”
Otherwise, I feel as if I’ve really taken to it, but then I knew I would. I’ve always felt maternal. I’ve always been good with babies and children. When I would see my eldest niece, she honestly LOVED spending time with me. We had a very good bond and even looking after was a walk in the park.
Overall, having my own little daughter, and being able to see how she’s progressed in such a short amount of time and space, I feel an eternal amount of pride, love and attachment.
Being a mum is the most incredible feeling in the world, and I know that’s so cliche to say, but it really is. You look at your little child and you know that they’re going to look up to you as they grow older. You know that times will be tough every now and then, and you’re waiting for the milestones and the days when they ask endless questions, but that makes the adventure so much more exciting.
I can’t wait to look back in 10 years time and see how far she’s come, as a person and an individual. I’m so looking forward to the many years we have together as best friends, and I’m loving every precious moment of her in baby mode.