It’s no lie that struggling with mental health can seem ten times harder while going through all of the changes of pregnancy. Those two blue lines show and you don’t know whether to laugh or cry, so you end up doing a bit of both. You sit there for what feels like hours with your head in your hands and you have no idea where to turn or who to tell. You finally decide to shake yourself off and you tell the first person. You wait for their reaction, which could be shock, upset, excitement, disappointment, wonder. There are so many emotions and feelings from every party when it comes to the announcement. Don’t worry if you think of whether you want to keep it. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s a huge thing when you find out you’re going to bring a little human into the world, it’s very overwhelming! No wonder us ladies get all sorts of thoughts and feelings surging through our minds. I’m here to tell you that you’re going to be okay, and you’ll get through it. Whether you’ve decided you’re going to keep it or not; whether you’re single or not. You’ll be okay.
I found out I was pregnant on March 10th 2017, but I had last been in hospital on January 22nd 2017. I was in hospital due to self-harm. It affects you during and even after the birth of your beautiful mini you, but you have to try not to let it. January 22nd was the last time I’d harmed or did any form of self-destruction. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was never going to do any of that stuff again, and it’s been 10 months since, and I’ve not even thought about it. Baring in mind, I’ve never gone this long without self-harm for over 10 years.
Before that, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression and Panic Disorder; yet now? It doesn’t affect me. You may think that just because you struggled to look after yourself for a while, you won’t be able to look after an even more vulnerable being. You’re wrong. Just because you did some things that aren’t great, doesn’t make you a bad person or parent. In fact; the things that you’ve gone through will probably help you cope better and want to do nothing but protect, care and love for your child the way that maybe you never were or the way you never did for yourself.
Mental health is hard enough to deal with, let along throwing a pregnancy in the mix, but always remember you’ll be okay and thins will be okay in the end. Although, if you are struggling to cope, please accept all the help you can get. People are there to help you. Even if it’s just picking up the phone to a friend; it can be something as small as a bit of company to make you feel so great again.